May 8, 2002

Phil Theobald
ptheobald@pjstar.com

When Peorian Faraz Hussain, 25, began talking about his current athletic passion, my mind began wandering to the produce section of your local supermarket.

Squash? "I'm sure people here would be interested if you would do a column about it," said Hussain.

Well, I'm not so sure, given the fact there are only about 10 serious squash players and only one squash court - at the downtown YMCA - in our immediate vicinity.

Squash is an indoor game, played with a racket (or racquet, if you want to be uppercrust) and a ball that doesn't bounce very well.

"I think that's why the game is called squash," said Hussain. "The ball is kind of 'squashy.' "

Stands to reason, since there are games called hardball and softball.

As in racquetball, a game played with a ball that does bounce well, only the server can score in squash.

"There is a well-known saying," said Hussain, " 'get fit to play squash, not play squash to get fit.' "

Sounds like a lot of work to me.

It is, agreed Hussian, originally from Pakistan and an engineer for Caterpillar. "It's very easy to get hooked on squash," he said.

It's just as easy to get unhooked, according to two of three ex-athletes with whom I talked.

George Shadid Jr., have you ever played squash? "Once. When the game was over, someone asked me if I won or lost and if I played the game properly," said the 1970s Bradley baseball player. "I didn't have an answer to either question. I wasn't invited back."

Joe Stowell? "It's been 30 years since I played and I can't remember much about it, except that 30 years ago I probably won. It's not a bad game . . . but no one plays it anymore," said the former Bradley basketball player and coach.

Have you ever played squash, Jay Hughes? "Not knowingly," said the 295-pound former football lineman who, as correspondent for The Associated Press, has an office in the newsroom of the Journal Star.

Squash, Jay. Not squish. Nor squelch, as in dealing with rumors.

Hussian, who plays the game properly and knows if he won or lost, begs to differ with Stowell that no one plays this sport anymore.

"It's catching on," he said, noting Champaign has 40 serious practitioners of the sport. Hussian spends most of his Sundays getting to and from the action via Interstate 74.

"It's one of the few sports that can turn you into a puddle of sweat in five minutes," he said, with each word putting more distance between squash and my potential involvement.

The game came from England and spread throughout the former empire - to Australia, Canada, Egypt, India, South Africa and Pakistan, with the latter country producing most of the world champions until recently.

"I think the Canadians are No. 1 right now," said Hussian, who doesn't sound real happy about that.

Space does not allow me to explain such squash terms as "nick" and "boast," or why there is a metal tin 19 inches high on the front court.

If you are curious, Hussain suggests an electronic visit to http://peoriadesignweb.com/squash/. The last dot is actually a period used for closing the sentence and doesn't belong in the Web site address.

A game is to nine points and, yes, good players will spot you eight. "When Hashim Kahn was the No. 1 player in the world," said Hussian, "he purposely made a point last for 12 minutes to wear out his opponent."

Wears me out just writing about it. Squash is not for the squeamish.

Don't forget your deodorant.